Making big decisions

The idea of self-awareness has always been really interesting to me.   Last week, I had a big decision to make – this decision determined where I (and my significant other) would be spending the next 4-5 years of our lives.  Its a big deal, right??

Like a well-prepared researcher, I wrote a thorough and detailed checklist of things to look out for, jotted down pro and con bullet points, and obtained as much information as I could about each of the choices.  Yet, with all of my careful calculations and thorough contemplation, in the end, what I could not ignore, what perhaps influenced my decision-making more than anything else, was my gut feel.  My gut (by the way, not on the checklist) represented the “emotional aspect of my decision-making” (as someone close to me would say).  It is intangible, indescribable, yet very real.

Self-awareness told me to trust my gut.  The decision is made now, and I know it was the right one.  Even so, a confusing palette of emotions overcome me: excitement for the adventures that lie ahead, anxiousness to begin this change, sadness that change is coming so soon, gratitude for an amazing opportunity, and fear of the unknown and how it will change the paths of my life.

How can I make sense of this?  I guess by stepping back, quietly reflecting, and remembering why I chose this path in the first place.  Having this awareness, I guess, can only come from me.

These purple flowers grow everywhere in Zurich parks.

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